On the Rainy River

     In “On the Rainy River,” O’Brien admits that this story still makes him squirm. O’Brien is still ashamed of the choice he made when he was younger. Initially it seems that O’Brien would be ashamed of trying to run away from home to avoid being drafted into the Vietnam War, but the very end of the story confirms practically the opposite. O’Brien says, “I survived, but it’s not happy ending. I was a coward. I went to war” (58). O’Brien is ashamed that he did not stand up for what he believed to be morally correct, to avoid the war. Instead, he caved to the fear of being embarrassed. O’Brien is ashamed of giving other people’s opinions of himself so much power over his decision. O’Brien writes, “It had nothing to do with morality. Embarrassment, that’s all it was” (57). Throughout the story, O’Brien’s moral compass is at odds with his younger sense of entitlement. This tension gives the story more weight than it would have if O’Brien just presented the story simply as something that he did as a young man before the war. O’Brien’s critique makes the reader feel the burden of his shame. O’Brien further brings the reader in as an active participant in the story with an authorial intrusion. O’Brien says, “Even now, as I write this, I can still feel that tightness. And I want you to feel it... What would you do? Would you...” (54). O’Brien commands the reader’s full attention by calling them to insert themselves into his position. This is a very interesting writing choice for him to make. It stands out because it is not common of his writing in this book.